Instabandit

Well I have to tell you about my day in court.

Glenn Reynolds showed up 15minutes late. The judge looked at me and said, “This man has been wearing that hat for 12 years and he has the receipt. I don’t know what you teach in tennesee, but here you have to buy a hat to own it.”

Reynolds left the court and drove quickly to Sonny Bryan’s Smokehouse. He ordered a pulled pork sandwich. They brought him a pound of brisket on a bun. He devoured several of these before realizing we would catch him eating real barbecue. He left quickly and stiffed the waiter.

Not wanting to leave Texas without a hat, Reynolds visited Western Warehouse. He pulled out a patch with an image of a lightening stricken oil derrick. He declared that it was a radio tower on the patch and told them to sew it onto a black Resistol. He donned the size 10 and adjourned to the dressing room with a pair of jeans.

That was the last we have seen of the infamous Instabandit. There were rumors of a man fitting this description driving a gremlin loaded with brisket down Interstate 30 toward Little Rock.

I must admit that I have enjoyed pulled pork sandwiches. But, a fella has to know what he is getting into. Every educated Texan knows pork is tennessean for Road Kill. That has been the code name for road kill since a group of Tennesseans came to Texas wearing porkskin hats. This was last time in recorded history that tennesseans did anything useful. Don’t get me wrong I love the Tennesseans that live here now. They eat Beef.

To all offended Tennesseans other than Glenn Reynolds, the insults hurled in this tale were in direct response to the BBQ Blasphemy of Glenn Reynolds. In no way shape or form does the man in the big white hat hold any malice toward Tennesseans other than the Evil Glenn. BigWhiteHat loves Tennesseans and will eat gladly eat delicious road kill with them at any time.